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The Award for Stupid Goes To…

I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life.  I’m sure a lot of people have.  My misfortune seems to be that when I am at my worst, people are there to witness the act.  Yep, if I can do something embarrassing or humiliating to myself, it has to be around lots of people, or at least one.

My contender for face-palm of all time happened just this morning.  We were getting ready for school, and it was chaos in the house as usual.  Right now, my youngest daughter is practicing her drama queen skills most regularly.  Her antics have often made us late, in getting her or her brother to preschool.

Now anyone that knows me, will attest that I absolutely hate being late.  It is one of those little annoyances that just drills into my brain like no other can.  I know it is one of those things that ties down humans in the modern age, but I simply have be on time (hmm maybe I should work for Fedex).

At any rate, today I had most of the family with me to experience my latest experiment in stupidity.  Only my oldest daughter would miss out, but would no do doubt be filled in on the story later in the day when she returned home from school.  What can I say, we share everything around here, particularly my personal mishaps.

We all piled into the family van for the trip to my son’s preschool.  It is a trip we make daily for both my youngest daughter, and my son.  He goes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.  My daughter then goes on Tuesday, and Thursdays.   My youngest was doing her very best to make her issues of prime importance on this particular morning.  In this case, it was keeping track of some miniature toy cats she insisted on bringing along.

Everyone was finally in their respective seats, and we were ready to go.  I opened the garage door, and slid the van into reverse gear.  I engaged the gas and began moving out of the garage.  Soon our journey of the morning would begin.  THUNK!

In driver education class they teach you to always inspect your vehicle.  They teach you to check all of your mirrors before moving.  They teach you a lot of things.  What they don’t teach you is that you will have a lot of distractions trying to keep you from doing the right thing.  This was the case this morning as I was backing out of the garage.  I managed to back into our white 1997 ford taurus.  It stubbornly decided that I was going to go no further this morning.  That’s right, I managed to forget that I had parked our other car in the driveway overnight during a snowstorm we were experiencing then.

Just after the impact, there was silence.  I am sure my wife wanted to laugh, but she knew that I was fuming at this point.  How is it possible that I forgot about the car being there?  More importantly, how is it I just didn’t notice a 2000 pound blockade in my way this morning?  If I had any answers, I wouldn’t have had this event happen to me today.

After I got the car moved, I returned to the van and proceeded on our way to school.  After we had traveled a short distance down the street, my wife turned to me with a smile.  She always knows how to put things in fine perspective…she said “Now you have something to write today’s blog about.”

She knows me all too well.

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About Mike Lemons
I'm a guy in his 40's who has been bumming around the net for years. I am married to a wonderful woman, and have 3 gorgeous kids.

10 Responses to The Award for Stupid Goes To…

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Award for Stupid Goes To… « Mike's Take… -- Topsy.com

  2. Jon Hanson says:

    Laughing with you I hope

    • Mike Lemons says:

      absolutely…but you know me…in the moment I was a little annoyed with myself for letting such a stupid thing happen…but in the end it was pretty funny.

  3. vakkermom says:

    I love that you can laugh about this. I would have been SO angry at myself. I know because two years ago I went to back our car out of the carport and I admit – I was in a hurry (though I hate being late, as well, it doesn’t keep me from being so most of the time). My husband had wedged both our car and our SUV into the small carport because we had had to jump-start the SUV the night before and it was the only way to get the two batteries close enough to each other. While I was being cautious of hitting the SUV on my left, I neglected to note how my husband had driven the car in at an angle and THEN straightened it, in order to avoid hitting the passenger’s side mirror on a support pole of the carport. Unfortunately I didn’t remember this until I heard a REALLY painful sounding “CRUNCH!” and looked over to find my mirror dangling from the side of the car by a proverbial thread. There was glass all over the ground and I think I actually cringed. I looked up to see if my husband had witnessed the deed…sure enough, he was standing at the dining room window, looking out at me with a look that said, “Really? How long have you been driving again?” I didn’t even bother getting out of the car. I just kept right on reversing and went on my not-so-merry way. The good news: We now know how to replace a power side mirror on a 2003 Toyota Camry.

    Thanks for the ping-back; I enjoyed your blog.

    • Mike Lemons says:

      Oh wow…I think I would have done the same thing as you only more cursing probably would have been involved

      You are most welcome for the ping…I like your stuff 🙂

  4. Michel says:

    Saved, I love your blog! 🙂

  5. Thanks for the ping-back, Mike & for the glimpse into your hectic morning life.
    Like you, whenever I have my ‘not-all-there’ moments they tend to occur in front of as many people as possible.
    Also like you, I am lucky to have my better half along for the ride much of the time. She always helps to keep things light & in perspective.
    Great post.

    • Mike Lemons says:

      Glad you enjoyed it Joseph…and glad you have an understanding wife like I do. They certainly are very helpful in smoothing the waters many times. Thanks for checking in, and for the kind words. I sincerely appreciate it 🙂

  6. Glenda says:

    Mikey! Thanks for the laugh! I read this and just started thinking about all the funny stuff at Coe of which I still have evidence on! Oh I could just imagine the shades of red you turned! Keep on writing its great!

    It is healthier for us when we can laugh at ourselves to help counteract all the stress!

    • Mike Lemons says:

      Glad you enjoyed it Glenda 🙂

      Considering the stuff you “have” on me…that, I believe is a two-way street

      I am a huge fan of self depreciating humor to lighten up tough situations…

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