I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life. I’m sure a lot of people have. My misfortune seems to be that when I am at my worst, people are there to witness the act. Yep, if I can do something embarrassing or humiliating to myself, it has to be around lots of people, or at least one.
My contender for face-palm of all time happened just this morning. We were getting ready for school, and it was chaos in the house as usual. Right now, my youngest daughter is practicing her drama queen skills most regularly. Her antics have often made us late, in getting her or her brother to preschool.
Now anyone that knows me, will attest that I absolutely hate being late. It is one of those little annoyances that just drills into my brain like no other can. I know it is one of those things that ties down humans in the modern age, but I simply have be on time (hmm maybe I should work for Fedex).
At any rate, today I had most of the family with me to experience my latest experiment in stupidity. Only my oldest daughter would miss out, but would no do doubt be filled in on the story later in the day when she returned home from school. What can I say, we share everything around here, particularly my personal mishaps.
We all piled into the family van for the trip to my son’s preschool. It is a trip we make daily for both my youngest daughter, and my son. He goes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. My daughter then goes on Tuesday, and Thursdays. My youngest was doing her very best to make her issues of prime importance on this particular morning. In this case, it was keeping track of some miniature toy cats she insisted on bringing along.
Everyone was finally in their respective seats, and we were ready to go. I opened the garage door, and slid the van into reverse gear. I engaged the gas and began moving out of the garage. Soon our journey of the morning would begin. THUNK!
In driver education class they teach you to always inspect your vehicle. They teach you to check all of your mirrors before moving. They teach you a lot of things. What they don’t teach you is that you will have a lot of distractions trying to keep you from doing the right thing. This was the case this morning as I was backing out of the garage. I managed to back into our white 1997 ford taurus. It stubbornly decided that I was going to go no further this morning. That’s right, I managed to forget that I had parked our other car in the driveway overnight during a snowstorm we were experiencing then.
Just after the impact, there was silence. I am sure my wife wanted to laugh, but she knew that I was fuming at this point. How is it possible that I forgot about the car being there? More importantly, how is it I just didn’t notice a 2000 pound blockade in my way this morning? If I had any answers, I wouldn’t have had this event happen to me today.
After I got the car moved, I returned to the van and proceeded on our way to school. After we had traveled a short distance down the street, my wife turned to me with a smile. She always knows how to put things in fine perspective…she said “Now you have something to write today’s blog about.”
She knows me all too well.
- Stupid. Stupid. STUPID! (asofm.wordpress.com)
- Looking Stupid (vakkermom.wordpress.com)
- Wingnut Stupidity (eschatonblog.com)