Valentines Day…Bah Humbug!

Are you ready for it?  The commercialized holiday to confirm your love for another person, or people if you are into that is coming next week.  Have you put in your order for that $70 bouquet of flowers that you can watch decay away in a matter of days?  Have you purchased that $20 box of candy that will be defiled in moments after opening?  How about that “intimate” purchase which, if you are lucky, you might see once or twice on your significant other?  Let’s not even get into the reservations to a nice restaurant, the babysitting arrangements (assuming you have children like I do), and a zillion other details that go into the logistics of an evening out on February 14th.

In case you hadn’t noticed I am a bit of a cynic when it comes to Valentines Day.  Perhaps this is an adopted condition though.  My wife is classically anti-Valentines Day.  She will always comment that she thinks it is very silly to have a holiday to profess your love for a significant other.  It is kind of hard to argue the point really.  She bases her argument on the notion that love shouldn’t have to be reinforced by a day, or gifts, or the like.  This concept was very foreign to me early in our relationship.  Every other woman in my past seemed to like the holiday a great deal.  My early marriage years were dotted with catastrophic failures in gift giving that only earned me very strange looks from her, and comments like “yeah, I’m not wearing that ever”.

Rebuffed intimate gifts aside, maybe she is right.  Perhaps a better way to show your love is to do so in an unexpected way.  If you insist on getting her a gift, do so unexpectedly.  Don’t wait for a traditional gift-giving time.  Figure out something she needs, but does without (in other words pay attention), and give it to her.  No reason, no expectation.  That is the best, and most romantic gift you can give her (or him for that matter).  Why?  Well first it is completely spontaneous, and it shows you are paying attention to her/his needs and desires.  Now that is the way to show your love for a significant other in a material way.

Of course this idea works for those traditional times of gifting too.  Good luck you love-birds…er bah “love”bug


About Mike Lemons
I'm a guy in his 40's who has been bumming around the net for years. I am married to a wonderful woman, and have 3 gorgeous kids.

2 Responses to Valentines Day…Bah Humbug!

  1. Becky says:

    My husband never gets me cards. I ALWAYS find him cards that say EXACTLY what I think, in a fun way, and he enjoys them. But he never returns the favour. I feel a bit sad about this, but realize I have a gift he doesn’t, just as he excels in other ways that I can only imagine excelling in. We’ve been low on funds for several months now and didn’t exchange gifts for our anniversary (mid-December) or Christmas last year, so I wasn’t expecting anything for V-Day.

    I had to work late on Friday due to a large event at work that my office coordinates, and when I came home there were two roses and – A CARD!!! – on the table. The card had my name on it. I waited until our daughter went to bed and then opened the card. It was perfect. It expressed his thoughts EXACTLY and made me laugh. And the flowers were beautiful.

    It was completely unexpected because it wasn’t a special day at all. His logic: “I figured they’d be out of flowers by Monday, and I didn’t want to fight the masses at the stores anyway.” What a practical man I married.

    A practical, wonderful man. 🙂

    My point: You’re right about being spontaneous and not waiting for a special day perpetuated by chocolate, lingerie and floral companies to exploit much-needed, hard-earned cash from anxious men’s wallets. The unexpected gestures are MUCH better.

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