Conflict in Marriage

In this past week, I have celebrated eleven wonderful years with a great woman.  I would love to say that it has been a very smooth ride, but there are just a couple of things about our relationship that really nag at me.  I just couldn’t stay quiet anymore, and thought this might be a good forum to “air it out” so to speak.

The first point of contention with us is the infamous over/under debate.  Growing up in my family we were always taught that when you put a roll of toilet paper on, that the roll should dispense from underneath the roll.  This was all well and good until I met my wife. Evidently, her family comes from a long line of over-rollers.  Yeah I know annoying right?  After all everyone knows that the most efficient way to dispense the roll is from the underside.  You do agree with me right?  Right?  Your silence is deafening.

Okay so maybe the whole toilet paper thing isn’t that big of a deal.  What I am about to share with you is the most heinous, and “bitter” argument we have had on ongoing dialog on since we were dating.  I am a Coke man.  Yep, born and bred red can all the way.  My wife…no strike that…her entire family is of the Pepsi generation.  Any mention of Coke will bring up wrinkled noses, and that look of bewilderment.  Sometimes, just for a second, I get that look from her parents that feels like “You married a Coke man?  How could you?”.  I mean seriously, the fact the I think Coke is the superior cola beverage (my a very large mile I must say), shouldn’t cause so much stress should it?  There were times early in our marriage, when we would go to special gatherings, like picnics, holidays and the like when I felt like a red alien in a world of the blue cans.  Yes I drink Pepsi when I am there (You know…when in Rome and all that), but my taste buds clearly go on strike when I do.  Why is it, that after eleven years, I cannot get my wife to convert.  After all she did agree to marry me right?  Shouldn’t she concede SOMETHING to me, like the fact that Coke is the superior beverage?

Alright, these are not marriage crises in point of fact.  They are just those humorous talking points you accumulate over time with the ones you love.  I wouldn’t change my wife one bit.  Course I do hold out hope that one day one of these things might change, but I won’t hold my breath.  On the other hand the toilet paper does come off the roll pretty nicely over the roll…but I’m not giving that away for a second.


About Mike Lemons
I'm a guy in his 40's who has been bumming around the net for years. I am married to a wonderful woman, and have 3 gorgeous kids.

6 Responses to Conflict in Marriage

  1. toemailer says:

    Congrats! 11 years is amazing in today’s world.

  2. Hi Mike, really funny.
    my husband and i just celebrated our 23rd anniversary and we still can’t get the toilet paper right, or the toilet seat – is it up or is it down? who knows?

  3. vakkermom says:

    These are two things my husband and I don’t argue about. Because we both know the proper way is OVER and we don’t really care about cola. Cola is cola, whether it comes in a red or blue can. And yes, they taste different, but neither one is BAD. (Don’t tell your wife I said that, women get uptight about these things sometimes. Lol!) And yes, congratulations on the 11 years – my hubby and I aren’t quite there yet, but getting there. Our goal is to celebrate ten years with a trip to Europe in 2014…

  4. ~MJ~ says:

    Oh wow! This article had both my husband and I laughing. We will be married for 20 years this summer and he is a Pepsi guy and I am so not. I choose Dr. Pepper. However, there are those who think Mister Pibb is an equal substitute but then that would be like me saying Pepsi and Royal Cola (RC) taste the same. In those rare moments when it comes down to the red or blue cans, blue ones will always be tops. Thankfully, he doesn’t care about the toilet paper roll nor does he forget to close the lid on the toilet. But I think even that took a toddler tossing things in the toilet to watch it go down the pipes. 😀 ~ Happy Anniversary! ~

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