In this past week, I have celebrated eleven wonderful years with a great woman. I would love to say that it has been a very smooth ride, but there are just a couple of things about our relationship that really nag at me. I just couldn’t stay quiet anymore, and thought this might be a good forum to “air it out” so to speak.
The first point of contention with us is the infamous over/under debate. Growing up in my family we were always taught that when you put a roll of toilet paper on, that the roll should dispense from underneath the roll. This was all well and good until I met my wife. Evidently, her family comes from a long line of over-rollers. Yeah I know annoying right? After all everyone knows that the most efficient way to dispense the roll is from the underside. You do agree with me right? Right? Your silence is deafening.
Okay so maybe the whole toilet paper thing isn’t that big of a deal. What I am about to share with you is the most heinous, and “bitter” argument we have had on ongoing dialog on since we were dating. I am a Coke man. Yep, born and bred red can all the way. My wife…no strike that…her entire family is of the Pepsi generation. Any mention of Coke will bring up wrinkled noses, and that look of bewilderment. Sometimes, just for a second, I get that look from her parents that feels like “You married a Coke man? How could you?”. I mean seriously, the fact the I think Coke is the superior cola beverage (my a very large mile I must say), shouldn’t cause so much stress should it? There were times early in our marriage, when we would go to special gatherings, like picnics, holidays and the like when I felt like a red alien in a world of the blue cans. Yes I drink Pepsi when I am there (You know…when in Rome and all that), but my taste buds clearly go on strike when I do. Why is it, that after eleven years, I cannot get my wife to convert. After all she did agree to marry me right? Shouldn’t she concede SOMETHING to me, like the fact that Coke is the superior beverage?
Alright, these are not marriage crises in point of fact. They are just those humorous talking points you accumulate over time with the ones you love. I wouldn’t change my wife one bit. Course I do hold out hope that one day one of these things might change, but I won’t hold my breath. On the other hand the toilet paper does come off the roll pretty nicely over the roll…but I’m not giving that away for a second.