Category: Humor

Work Humor: 9/26/2012



Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. -That’s a good point, Sparky.- -No I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.-

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example -If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.-

-Hi-lite- your shoes. Tell people that you haven’t lost your shoes since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in –Palmolive.-

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be 12345678901234567890123456789012345678901

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company’s products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it -IN.-

Determine how many cups of coffee is -too many.-

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc… in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none… Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, -Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.-

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.




Yeah Another Monday Rises

I know I could use a nudge this morning…saw these phrases on my digital “walk” around the web this morning and they really rang true.

Motivation: Doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done when we WANT to do it.

Discipline: Doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done when we DON’T WANT to do it.

Now the real key here is to know that you need to be Motivated in your Discipline…or is it Disciplined in your Motivation?  Ahhh…my head hurts.  Maybe I’ll just hit the snooze bar again while I try to reboot for the week ahead.

You Can’t Keep Him Down


That’s right he’s back.  Did anyone really think that he would die falling off a cliff?  This is Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane for goodness sakes.  My only wish is to look as good as William Shatner does when I am 81 years old.  Yeah, let that sink in brah.