Advertisements

Work Humor: 9/26/2012

 

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. -That’s a good point, Sparky.- -No I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.-

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example -If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.-

-Hi-lite- your shoes. Tell people that you haven’t lost your shoes since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in –Palmolive.-

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be -zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com- 12345678901234567890123456789012345678901

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company’s products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it -IN.-

Determine how many cups of coffee is -too many.-

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc… in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none… Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, -Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.-

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

 

 

Advertisements

Omaha School Shooting, a Parent’s Reaction.

On Wednesday, January 5th a student entered a Omaha school and shot the principal and assistant principal.  Both were severely wounded, but no children were injured.  The school’s lock-down rules were effective on that measure anyway.  Specific details on the incident can be found in the local newspaper.

Update 1/6/2011: As of this morning the assistant principal died of the wounds she received from the shooting.  Our hearts go out to the family and friends of this woman.

I knew none of the parties involved, and am thankful that the outcome was not more tragic.  I cannot begin to imagine the stress of having to wait behind barricades while your child was still inside the building.  Having to wonder if there was still a threat, and being powerless to do anything about it.  It is a worst case scenario for a parent, and one that I worry about as my oldest daughter leaves elementary school and starts middle school next year.

I find myself trying to remember my own school experiences and wondering what would push a child to take such an extreme and brutal approach to getting their message heard.  In my case, I was often made fun of, and frequently was easy pickings for the bullies.  Never once…not one time did I ever think the solution to the problem was a violent escalation involving a firearm.

I do worry about my daughter though.  It seems that the times we are in now are much more difficult to navigate for the young.  The high stresses of our need it now, do it perfect the first time, have it all, society seem to be taking a toll on our young. When I was in high school incidents like this would have been so rare as to be thought impossible.  It is my hope that my wife and I have sewn the seeds of good lines of communication with all of our children.

That puts the pressure firmly in the court of us as parents to keep lines of communication open.  Yes being a parent is a very rewarding experience.  Yet, on days like this, after such tragic events happen it can be one of the most stressful occupations ever invented.

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

Gabriel Barnes @ Blog

Astronomy, Astrophotography

50 Year Project

My challenge to visit 192 countries, read 1,001 books, and watch the top 100 movies

Wish You Were Here

Musings from the Middle Kingdom

BGatewoo's Blog

Let's share stories and information about finding a job in today's world of electronic information (and misinformation).

Political Baseballs

Musings on Sports, Politics and Life in general

%d bloggers like this: